1. |
A Desperate Haunting
04:10
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I used to think i could hear your downstairs
when I still lived in that two story house
A letter came for you by mistake
and for days I cried and held it against my blouse
sometimes my ghost is driving with your hand on my leg
and it's sunny and warm
sometimes my ghost is still curled around the boom box
listening to the tapes hum
sometimes my ghost is just driving around- frantically looking for you
afraid you'll get lost or hurt,
your phone drowning in the river
sometimes my ghost is watching my body- cry, cry, cry
sometimes my ghost is sitting behind you on the bus
imagining what your lips feel like
now I'm just paralyzed and it sits in my skull
my ghost is stuck in a jar on the windowsill
i hope to see you again but you'll probably forget me
i hope to see you again but i don't know if you would see me
are you downstairs?
are you downstairs?
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2. |
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3. |
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4. |
Smothered Regrets
07:05
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I don’t know if this is the right thing to do
All I know is that I miss you
His lips are breaking as they touch my skin.
I can see the little lines crumbling
His fingernails are cracking as they reach for me.
his eyes are dead and he’s suffocating
I left red marks on his neck and now
I feel like a monster
but he's watching me with that glare
and counting the days
until it's over
is it right to stay when they treat us this way?
is it right to stay when he treats me this way?
I am the lone ranger
standing in place
and I don't know how to save my-
i don't know how to save my face
I picked the glass out of my mouth
and I laid my head down to rest
waiting and waiting and waiting to hear
but nothing made any sense
muffled voices from the other room-
whispers about my health
I can still hear you shuffling around downstairs
but it was silent for days
I can still see the mirages on my wall
of the ghost I am in a heavy haze
of walks and tokens and things that now mean nothing
is it right to stay when they treat us this way?
is it right to stay when he treats me this way?
is it right to stay when I treat myself this way?
I am the lone ranger
standing in place
and I don't know how to save my-
i don't know how to save my face
I am the lone ranger
stuck at my post
but i'm just a ghost
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5. |
Ripped in Two
01:51
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I want only you
i love you
i did it for you
i told you
you ripped me in two
i told you
i told you
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6. |
It's Lonely Here
03:58
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The dog stares at me from across the lawn
And I haven't stopped coughing up blood since the dawn
Face to face we can't even see each other
When I speak it splashes little flakes of red on your cheek
This dog lost his belly too long ago
Too long ago
My teeth are in splinters I can't talk anymore
My gums are splitting- they're rotten at the core
The dog's eyes are moving, following my pace
He stares at my feet- he can't even look at my face
He has taken the blame in his own death
I've taken the blame in mine
I've taken the blame in mine
I haven't stopped choking on it
I haven't stopped swimming in it
My eyes are peeled and naked
But still he stares at me
Too long ago, too long ago
He lost his belly
Too long ago
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7. |
Across The Prairies
02:03
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8. |
Girls With Bellies
02:49
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He chose her now,
Goodbye, goodbye
he coos her name
(He was too tired to try)
Maybe I got addicted to loneliness
or I'm just too terrified
Sometimes at night
i still feel his hands on my neck
and he whispers my name
he told me he liked girls with bellies
but then he'd never touch me the same
way again
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9. |
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I'm sharpening my tongue
for the next time I see you
I will spit knives making you bloody and blue
I've prepared a shell to ward away
the water creeping up to my neck
I've got flies in my eyes and my stomach
is bloated with it
coughing up algae, I let you devour me
I let you devour me
go home go home to her
go home she'll never know
the way you looked at me that night
she'll never know how i haunt your heart
but if i didn't stop you,
would you have killed me?
I'm not leaving room for you in my tomb
I can see the lines in my face
forming craters and ridges
not even the bravest of climbers
can hold onto it
I take my clothes off carefully and seriously
because I don't know how to say I'm sorry
I'll never be clean again,
I'll never know the way
I'll never see you again,
It has to be this way
I'll never let someone put their hands around my throat
I'll never see you there- learning how to float.
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10. |
Whimpers
02:22
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11. |
I Promised
01:21
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We'll go to the desert and the sand will pour out of our eyes like tears
we can roll and bury each other-stinging skin red
i can feel my ribs turning into cactus prickers
and your face looks like a pedal from the flowers on my breasts
i will take you in my harsh embrace
and you can drink from the water stored in my stomach
(we'll never have to be apart again)
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12. |
Oh, My Clumsy Heart
02:49
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13. |
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Ghost Tears Portland, Oregon
GHOST TEARS is a musical project by Leslie Dorcus, recorded in her bedroom on a four track tape recorder.
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